Influence
for salespeople, parents, teachers, managers...
by Rex Steven Sikes

It's the largest profession on the face of the earth. Every business, small and large, relies on it, because without it, they wouldn't exist. Therapists, administrators, advertisers, doctors, teachers, lawyers, even couples and parents do it. Yet, you still can't get a college degree in it. It's selling.

All of us are "selling" all the time. Yet, most of us don't do it very well. Remember the last time someone laid a guilt trip on you? How about begged or pleaded with you? Or the last time a salesperson tried to push you into buying something you really didn't want?

No one likes beggars or pushers or those who's only objective is to please themselves. Consider this: the livelihood of your employees or children is connected to their obedience to you. An employee or child may continue to perform and obey even while harboring resentment. This can damage the reputation of your business when they talk about you and seriously hurt your relationships by destroying bonds.

Learning "win-win" selling, where both parties are pleased, not only effects our professional viability but also our personal future. The main thrust of win-win selling and NLP sales techniques is that everyone gets what they want.

Learning how to influence others is your key to better communicating and understanding between loved ones, business associates, community and world leaders. Fortunately, by learning NLP, you know how to convince others in respectful and meaningful ways. You know how people are motivated, make decisions, and how they become convinced.

Most parents want their children to stay away from drugs. The question is, how do you "package" your "sales pitch" in ways that are appealing and irresistible to them so they do stay away from drugs? It's easy when you learn how each person has a specific way in which they become convinced of an idea, purchase a product, or decide to do something.

Your first consideration for influencing others is to know when you have made the "sale". Is it when your children stay off drugs? When the customer signs the contract? When your employee does what you've asked or when your husband does the dishes? The answer is NO!!

You have "sold" or convinced them only when your child comes to you at a different time for advice or guidance! When the customer comes back or sends you referrals! When your employee asks you what else needs to be done! And when your husband routinely does the dishes without needing to be asked first!

In order to "make the sale" you need to use five basic steps for successfully influencing another person. The five are: 1. get attention, 2. gather specific information, 3. packaging, 4. inoculation, and 5. test for close and close. In this article, we will cover step one: get attention.

Step 1. Get attention. A good example of getting attention is an Art teacher in a Madison, WI grade school who dresses like a famous artist once a month and the students love it! Kids today play flashy video games, watch thrilling horror movies and listen to upbeat, fast music. They are very sophisticated when it comes to using modern technology, like computers. Yet, when in the classroom, we usually give them four beige walls and a teacher with a monotone voice. This isn't going to grab the attention of a kid who is accustomed to a faster, more colorful and upbeat world.

You cannot "sell" anyone anything unless you have captured their attention first. Successful salespeople do things like carry flowers or small gifts such as golf balls to appointments, use humor, stories, or other techniques that captures a client's attention.

Ben Feldman, a man who sold 6 million dollars worth of individual life insurance, had an excellent technique for getting attention. When he sat down with a client the first thing he did was open up his day timer and money would pour out onto the floor!

The use of Language Patterns, Value Elicitation, Strategy Elicitation, Verbal and Non-Verbal Rapport, Embedded Commands, Presuppositions, Ambiguities, etc., is essential to the successful and graceful influencing strategy.